The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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