youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
