I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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