smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
