Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
id be glad to
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
