Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
