none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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