yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
