You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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