I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
