I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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