Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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