It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
