did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
