just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need to calm my uterus...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
