Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize