i just had sex bonerless
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
