i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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