we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
