I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
