Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize