I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
