I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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