Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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