very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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