erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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