So drunk its hurt
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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