She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
