Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
