I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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