$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
