Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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