Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
