Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
