In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
