Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
bring money and cleavage
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize