Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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