I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
