Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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