she was so not down for the gang bang
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
