i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
