I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
