Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
