she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
