I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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