i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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