he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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