if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
