and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
