I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
