just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize