do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
