dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She told me I should be a condom model.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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