yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
