I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
