you guys were way drunker than both of me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
