Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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