Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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