the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
