How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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